Damn Daniel of Damn, Daniel — the 14-year-old viral sensation who became famous while lounging at school during 6th period — just got a lifetime supply of his favorite kicks. Yup, the white Vans he made famous will be forever available to the young man, even when he’s no longer young. Ellen DeGeneres bestowed the gift on her show. And the unpaid endorser Daniel was delighted, of course, with his evergreen — if sometimes white — Vans supply.
The classic authentic white vans sell for $45 at Vans.com. The average American male’s life expectancy is 76.4 years — and expected to climb high and fast. So say Daniel’s got another, say, 70 years left (or more, we hope, Daniel!). A skater’s favorite, Vans are famous for being durable and long-lasting. Of course, Daniel clearly likes to keep his in shiny mint condition, so let’s say Daniel replaces them every six months even though the soles are still fine. That’s two pairs a year then. Let’s also say Vans keeps the price reasonable, it won’t stay at $45 for the next seven decades. If it doubles over time, to $90, we’ll use an average price $67. So $134 a year for 70 years — or $9,380. That’s a very reasonably priced gift, wouldn’t you say? Damn, Daniel.
Damn Daniel pic.twitter.com/Va10hmpePO
— josh (@josholzz) February 16, 2016
