For centuries puppeteers have been entertaining children by shoving their hands up the back ends of pieces of felt, but apparently only now is it deemed inappropriate. According to One Million Moms, ABC’s reboot of The Muppets is too sexually suggestive. The pro-family group [sidebar: can we stop using this term? Technically, Charles Manson was pro-family] has launched a petition asking for ABC to cancel the new series. “The mature version of The Muppets will cover a range of topics from sex to drugs,” reads the petition. “Miss Piggy came out as a pro-choice feminist during an MSNBC interview. The puppet characters loved by kids in the 1970s and 1980s and beyond are now weighing in on abortion and promiscuity.”
The petition goes on to express concern about the show’s “perverted nature” and “sexually charged jokes,” conveniently overlooking some of the original series’ double-entendres (come on, are you seriously telling me you didn’t know that Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem were high as kites?) The petition also reminds people that ABC is owned by Disney, perhaps in an effort to provoke suburbanites to boycott Disneyworld.