Mitt “Flip-Flop” Romney |
Evander “The Real Deal” Holyfield |
|---|---|
| AGE: 68 HEIGHT: 6-foot-1 WEIGHT: 185 pounds REACH: Quite far, actually: mostly outside of the United States STANCE: Somewhat to the right WINS: 1 (Massachusetts) LOSSES: 1 (Presidency) KNOCK-OUTS: 1 |
AGE: 52 HEIGHT: 6-foot-2 WEIGHT: 226 pounds REACH: 78 inches STANCE: Orthodox WINS: 44 LOSSES: 10 KNOCK-OUTS: 29 |
Get ready for the Scuffle in Salt Lake. Two heavyweights are about to step into the ring. In the red corner is the Michigan Mauler, Mitt Romney. In the blue corner is former heavyweight champion of the world, Evander Holyfield. The two men will box in a charity match at the Union Pacific Depot in Salt Lake on May 15th to raise money for Charity Vision. The charity “provides doctors and facilities in poverty-stricken areas with equipment and resources to carry out eye operations,” according to Time. Romney is realistic about his chances against Holyfield. “It will either be a very short fight, or I will be knocked unconscious,” he said. “It won’t be much of a fight. We’ll both suit up and get in the ring and spar around a little bit.”
Romney is definitely the underdog (a role, let’s face it, he’s used to playing). Holyfield is 16 years younger than the former presidential candidate, is an inch taller and outweighs him by a good forty pounds. He’s also something of a dirty fighter. Romney helped save the Salt Lake City Olympics and likes to see himself as a champion of fair play: he probably won’t try to bite off the champ’s ear.
