People Who Use Emojis Have More Sex

If you start noticing more smiley faces in your friends’ emails and text messages, it’s probably because they’ve read a new study which claims that people who use emojis have more sex than those who don’t. According to Match.com (working with Rutgers University biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher) “54 percent of singles who use emojis had sex last year, while 31 percent did not.” To which I can only say 

Furthermore, the more often people use emojis, the more often they have sex. The study also finds a correlation between the kind of emoji that people favor and the quality of their sex life.  Women who use ‘kiss-related emojis’ have an easier time “achieving orgasm with familiar partners.”   “That may be because emoji users cared more about finding partners who consider communication a desirable trait,” reports Time. I really don’t know what to make of this study.  Firstly, I was unaware of the depth of emojis out there, nor did I know their intricate symbology (note: this link may be NSFW). Did you know that an eggplant equals a penis? Well, now you do. I myself seldom employ emojis, which perhaps explains why I am sitting at home writing this with just the cat for company.