Hell, yeaaahhhh! Whoo! Nic Cage here! Just what you need for Christmas, or whenever, really, is a dinosaur skull. I have one. It’s pretty damn old. And it cost me. A lot of money. I repeat: A … lot … of … MO-HONEY! You know who I beat to get my hands on the skull? Leonardo DiCaprio. That’s right, Leo, I have two things you don’t: the skull of a Tyrannosaurus bataar AND an Academy Award. Woo-hoo! Well, it turns out that, uh, I have to give the skull back. Whoa! I HAVE TO GIVE IT BACK??!!?? Because it was stolen. From the Mongolians. Because it’s a National Treasure! Heh. That was $276,000 well spent.
And you know what? I’m gonna give it to them. GONNA. GIVE IT. TO THEM! But that’s OK. I still have lots of other weird stuff. You know why? Cuz I’m a rock-n-roll nitro-charged turbo-powered super freak from Hell, baby! Merry Christmas.
