Word out of a chilly ESPN is that Chris Berman (or Chris Ber It’s Cold at ESPN Man) will be stepping back from his NFL and MLB duties on the “Worldwide Leader in Sports.” Berman started with ESPN when the fledgling network was in its infancy — before Patrick Ewing, Chris Mullin and Big East Basketball paved the way for the cable network to take over the world. Sports announcing had rarely seen a character like Berman, who was given wide latitude to paint the sports he covered with his own palette. That palette included colorful word play that hit as many home runs as the sluggers he covered.
Sports fans have been treated to Berman-isms since 1979 and he’ll still issue a few, no doubt. The network — which is going through some rough times as cable struggles against increased competition — says we’ll still see Berman, though in a diminished role. Seems a good time to simply name some of the more outre nicknames conjured up by Chris Ber-It’s-Cold-at ESPN-Man.
Scott Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius
Carlos One if by Land, Two if Baerga
Bernard Innocent Until Proven GilkeyAmani It’s Not A Toomer
Steve Poison Avery
Hideo Ain’t Gonna Work On Maggie’s Farm Nomo
C.C. Splish Splash I Was Taking Sabathia
Miguel Tejada They Come, Tejada They Fall
Jesus Skip To My Alou
Chris One Bad Ma’afalla
Al Cigarette Leiter
Ozzie Like A Virgil
Rick See Ya Later Aguilera
Eddie Eat, Drink and Be Murray
Amani It’s Not A Toomer
Brook Jacoby Wan Kenobi
Nomar Mr. Nice Guy Garciaparra
Jeff Brown Paper Bagwell
Mike You’re in Good Hands With Allstott
Carlos Daylight Come and Delgado Go Home
Damion It Don’t Come Easley
Jerome You Better You Better You Bettis
Todd Which Hand Does He Frohwirth
David Supreme Court Justice
Eric Sleeping With Bienemy
Andre Bad Moon Rison
John I Am Not a Kruk
Chuck New Kids on Knoblauch
Sammy Say it Ain’t Sosa
Jim Home Sweet Thome
Tom Heard it Through the Glavine
Juan Re Encarnacion
Jay Ferris Buhner
Todd Highway to Helton
Todd Smack Crackle VanPoppel
Harold Growing Baines
Bobby Bad To the Bonilla
Tom Cotton Candiotti
John Holy Moses
Jon Kitna Kaboodle
Jim Washer and Dwyer
Bruce Eggs Benedict
Bert Be Home Blyleven
LaMarr Where Does it Hoyt
Lance You Sunk My Blankenship
Barry U.S. Bonds
Shawn Boot Kemp
