Forget the Clownpocalypse. Or even Chocogeddon. Doom will swoop down from the skies. Giant seagulls are attacking and killing sheep in Ireland. “These were mature ewes, not yet shorn, yet the gulls managed to savage them through their thick coat of wool,” reports the Irish Times. “The gulls used not just their beaks, but their claws also in the unprecedented attack.” County Kerry rural development officer and sheep farmer John McGrohan witnessed what might be the beginning of the Armagullon, and is calling for a cull on the birds, which are moving inland from the coast and becoming more commonplace in mountainous areas. “Generations of farmers had farmed the land but had never seen gulls.” There have been several reports of similar attacks. In March two lambs were “gored to death” and “were left in an awful state with their entrails torn out by the gulls.”
In a scene reminiscent of Hitchcock’s The Birds, gulls are now attacking people. Some even hurled themselves at a man riding a motorbike “in an attack he compared to a second World War Stuka dive bomb, so expertly was the attack executed with the gull protecting his wings.” Vincent Appleby was nearly knocked off his bike by a large gull. “He nearly knocked my head off – it was like a Second World War Stuka coming in – he knew what he was doing, he turned at the last minute so his wings wouldn’t hit.” This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but with … feathers?