“Fish got to swim and birds got to fly,” sang Billie Holiday, but what’s a fish to do when it can’t swim upright? One goldfish with the perky name of Orangie had this problem, but his owner hit upon an ingenious solution: cork. A redditor posted a picture of Orangie in his “wheelchair.” But it’s unclear from his expression if the fish is all that happy about it, probably because the other fish make fun of him. Still, it’s a goldfish, he’s not going to remember, right? Then again, goldfish now have longer attention spans than we do, so it’s probable that you’ve already forgotten Orangie’s name.
While the thought of a tiny fish swimming sideways around and around a bowl might seem comical, it’s actually a symptom of a serious medical condition (stop laughing). Too many fish owners feed their finned friends high-protein foods, which leads to bladder infection, which leads to ichthyetic imbalance (read: fish falling over.) The solution is to feed them peas, apparently. Or tie a cork to their back. Thank goodness Orangie wasn’t constipated as well, because goldfish surgery is unbelievably expensive.