The vet in England who performed the costly life-saving operation on a constipated goldfish has just lost the International Veterinary Association Award for Most Ridiculous Surgery You’ve Ever Convinced A Pet-Owner To Pay For to a veterinarian in Heart’s Desire, Newfoundland. The Newfoundland surgeon will perform gender reassignment surgery on a sexually confused feline. “Mittens is a seemingly regular household cat that enjoys being scratched under the chin and chasing string around,” reports CBC News, “but there’s one thing about a Newfoundland family’s pet that sets it apart – Mittens is a hermaphrodite.” The stray cat that Colleen Clarke-Murphy adopted “has bowel issues and problems urinating as a result of its dual gender.” The vet has advised assigning Mittens a male gender.
Mittens will need to be both spayed and neutered, and then have reconstructive surgery after the male gender is assigned. The bill for the surgery will be $1500. “They’re the ones who know what they’re doing,” said Clarke-Murphy, who’s probably wondering why the vet was looking at holiday homes in Barbados. “I mean, I really don’t know. I’d like for it to be a female, but it really don’t matter. It’s got both parts.” Intersex felines are actually more common than you think, and are usually found in pedigree breeding programs. After Mittens becomes a he, it remains to be seen if he will then resort to obnoxious catspreading.