The badly fragmented body of beloved nursery rhyme hero Humpty Dumpty was found in Turner, Oregon’s Enchanted Forest theme park, reported KOIN6 News. Unnamed witnesses claim two men—still at large—attempted to scale Humpty’s famed wall and ended up bringing it and Dumpty down. Portland forensics would not comment. Nursery Rhyme legend Dumpty, well known for his lavish dinner parties and a recently launched big-and-tall clothing line for men, had his share of enemies (coldly chronicled in Dazed magazine). Was this a homicide? Ironic fate? Worse, Enchanted Forest insiders hinted in wooden tones that Dumpty’s drinking had escalated in the wake of the disturbing Snow White scandal. Could Dumpty have conceivably jumped?
Humpty Dumpty's 84-year-old creator, Roger Tofte, had a philosophical take on the loss of his beloved sculpture: "It's going to take quite a few hours just to start from scratch again and try to duplicate what I had...so I hope I have some creative juices left."