A writer named Lacey Noonan has typed up an exercise in erotica called A Gronking to Remember, which she’s wisely calling “Book One in the Rob Gronkowski Erotica Series.” It’s 64 pages about a “passion that could not be spiked” according to the cover. People are delighted by the audacity of the tale–and the marketing brilliance to launch it right before the NFL playoffs. (Gronkowski and the New England Patriots play the Baltimore Ravens on Saturday.)
But then you’d expect no less from an author whose previous book was called: I Don’t Care If My Best Friend’s Mom is a Sasquatch, She’s Hot and I’m Taking a Shower With Her. Let’s just all agree that Lacey Noonan is magic. The only one who might disagree is Patriots quarterback Tom Brady–the George Clooney to Gronk’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Because there’s just no way Brady thought another player–let alone another Patriot–was going to make it into erotica before he did. But Brady has said of Gronk, “There’s nothing he can’t do. It’s just so fun to play with people like that.” So he must understand where Lacey Noonan is coming from. Hear Gilbert Gottfried read from the book here, if you dare.