The world’s most famous physicist Stephen Hawking confessed that despite a pretty good grasp on how the entire universe works — he doesn’t understand Donald Trump. The Trump camp reacted with plans to run an ad with the tagline: “Trump: Bigger, Better Than Universe.” But Trump himself is reportedly having second thoughts.
While he likes the idea that the world’s greatest physicist can’t understand him, believing it shows him as a brilliant starry mystery, Trump reportedly looked up “demagogue” in the dictionary. That’s what Hawking called Trump, so Trump is instead planning to hit back at Hawking in his usual style. Here are the 10 insults Trump is planning for his Hawking revenge.
- Stephen Hawking is English and a loser. England had an empire and lost it. Losers.
- Hawking is in a wheelchair. It’s disgusting.
- Hawking thinks he’s too good for Lou Gehrig, the great New York Yankee. Hawking has Lou Gehrig’s disease but he won’t even call it that. He calls it ALS or something. Listen, it’s Lou Gehrig’s disease, alright?
- The guy is not rich. I mean, he’s supposed to be some great thinker and I have like $12 billion more than him. Great thinker? Give me a break, okay?
- He looks terrible on TV. On TV they have hair and makeup people everywhere. They’re professionals, you know, about making people look great. And he still looks terrible. Pathetic.
- Hawking is a foreigner who came to America to make American money. Now he’s a fancy professor at Cambridge back in England. But when he needed cash he came to Cal Tech in beautiful sunny California and took an American’s professor’s job away and made American money. Terrible. We need a wall.
- He doesn’t understand me? Well nobody understands him. Show me a black hole. Besides the Democratic Party. Go ahead. Black holes are dumb.
- I’m a man of action. Hawking just sits there and thinks up his little theories about stars. When I was a kid we called that kid a loser. What has he done? Stephen Hawking, I’ll tell you, never created a single job in America.
- Hawking’s afraid of everything. He goes on the Internet and asks questions like how will we survive the next 100 years? He’s worried about 100 years? I have a plan for the next thousand years. And it’s gonna be beautiful and huge. He’s a worrying loser.
- Hawking can’t control the people around him. His first wife wrote a book about how bad the marriage was. That’s disloyalty. My people aren’t disloyal. Even my ex-wives are loyal. He’s dangerous in his little chair. No one should listen to him.
- And here’s one more. Quantum mechanics, Hawking’s big thing? I built like a thousand buildings around the world and never used it. You don’t need it. Trump Tower? No quantum mechanics in there. Nowhere. Loser stuff.