Vaginas are so last season. Yes, ladies, you can get yours stoned or spruced up, but can you use your ladyparts to add a distinctively hairy, wrinkled, and sweaty touch to photos of majestic landscapes? Nutscaping — in which a man takes a picture of scenery adorned with some of his family jewels — is a trend which we hope will eventually shrivel up. But for now, just as the culture is learning to cope with this sudden, unwanted plethora of scrota, along comes the scrotum backpack.
The Scrote ‘n’ Tote was created by Daniel Bitton, and he is now running an Indiegogo campaign to raise funds “to solve one of humanity’s most urgent and pressing problems: the complete lack of fully functional, realistic human scrotum apparel available in the world today.” The target is $33,000, and rather shockingly, after less than a week it has already raised more than $5000, proof that people will buy almost anything, including a hideous accessory that will be carried, presumably, by fashionable fertility doctors, purveyors of almonds, and perhaps by the roughest, toughest, scrot’nest, tot’nest, fastest gun-slinger west of the Pecos! Expect the Scrote ‘n’ Tote to be the holiday gift idea this year. Perhaps some good might arise from this nuttiness: it could be sold as part of a fundraising campaign to fight testicular cancer.