Janet Roach of Real Housewives of Melbourne was married for 30 years. Now she’s looking to date again. Fellow Real Housewife Lydia Schiavello gets Janet to try speed dating. But when Janet shows up to the bar, she realizes all the men are young. The bartender reassures her: “It’s cougar night,” he said with a smile. And that’s okay with Janet. “A younger man appeals to me,” she says. “Because why would I spend my time wheeling someone around in a wheelchair.” Awww.
At boy toy night, Janet meets a man who doesn’t beat around the bush. “I want to be a kept man,” he announces. “I want to be your pool boy.” When he reveals that he’s a “life coach” who specializes in “sex and relationships,” Janet bites. He explains that he can give 15 minute orgasms. Janet’s not impressed. “I can do that on my own.” Awww, again.