Season 5 of Game of Thrones is almost here: ravens have been dispatched to all corners of the Internet to bring news of any sort to satisfy fans who just can’t get enough of dragons, white walkers and blood magic. This week we got the news that there will be an Indian version of the show. It won’t really be a fantasy series and instead will be set at the time of the 1857 Rebellion. And unlike the HBO show, it probably won’t have any nudity, as they don’t really go in for that sort of thing on Indian television (but don’t rule out a lot of singing and dancing.) That piece of news was followed by the revelation that the Mother of Dragons – the frequently naked Emilia Clarke – doesn’t want to be known as that actress who gets her kit off at the drop of a hat. Fair enough, but apparently she has no problem spouting trite, awful dialogue (“Come with me if you want to live”) in the trailer for her dragon-free project, the rather terrible-looking and badly spelled Terminator: Genisys. We also got to watch the cast of Game of Thrones singing … sort of. Okay, so all this frivolity is fine, and more than enough to keep fans happy, and the week could have ended there. But the best – or worst – was yet to come: Someone has made their own version of show’s iconic Iron Throne … out of dildos.
The Rubber Throne – made utilizing 200 black dildos – was made by UK sex toy company Bondara. The company has a line of Westeros-inspired BDSM accessories called Game of Bones. And the dildo throne is up for grabs … er, let me rephrase that. You can get your hands on it. Dammit!One more time, man. Someone is going to win it. Phew! By the way, before you start Googling it, you should know there is also a porn parody of the show also called Game of Bones. It’s technically also a fantasy show, I suppose – George R.R. Martin has seen it, by the way, and he doesn’t think it’s dirty enough.