Rick Springfield’s backside is on trial. His posterior has been accused of causing “serious, disabling and permanent injuries” to Vicki Calcagno after the singer fell backwards at a 2004 concert, hitting Calcagno with his behind and rendering her “disoriented or unconscious for at least 10 minutes.” But this hard-hitting ass-meets-face tale has a twist: another woman, Penny Anne Nolin, stepped forward to say it was she who was derailed by Rick’s derriere. “Nolin was called to the stand yesterday, where she testified that Springfield fell backwards, delivering a powerful ass-strike to her forehead and dropping her to her knees. Nolin claims she didn’t see Calcagno or anybody else get hurt.”
The AV Club describes Springfield’s appearance in court in some detail, including the singer “admitting under oath to being a ‘heartthrob,’ acknowledging that female fans ‘grab my butt if they’re feeling a little saucy,’ and reportedly yelling, crying, and becoming so emotional that at one point he was ‘given a tissue for his tears.'” So now you know that when he sings that we all need a human touch, he means all kinds of touching, including ass-grabbery.