You’ve probably never heard of Harry Lauder, and if you did, you wouldn’t pay any attention to the name. That’s the point: ‘Harry Lauder’ is the name that Tom Hanks uses when he doesn’t want people to know that they’re dealing with Tom Hanks. He’s going to have think of a new one now, thanks to the Sony Pictures Hack. After revealing Seth Rogen’s and James Franco’s salaries, and that Sony employees despise Adam Sandler movies, the latest revelation may hit celebrities the hardest: their aliases are now public information.
The list of celebrities using fake names includes Natalie Portman, who uses the nondescript ‘Laura Brown’; Tobey Maguire, who adopts the porny-sounding ‘Neil Deep’; Jude Law, who goes for the classy ‘Mr Perry’ (no doubt Mr Perry steps out of the back of his Bentley carrying a silver-tipped cane); and Jessica Alba, who uses the unsubtle moniker ‘Cash Money’ (surely that’s just going to attract attention? Perhaps that’s the point). All these stars are going to have to come up with new fake names. May I suggest that typewriter-enthusiast Hanks adopt the alias Christopher Latham Sholes? Other stars struggling to think of a good fake identity could ask The Kings of Summer‘s Biaggio for tips. Or they could get together and use the leak in a movie idea. Doesn’t Lauder, Deep & Mr Perry sound like the perfect title for a 1960s-era jet-setting caper about jewel thieves?