Gentlemen, don’t show this to your Benedict Cumberbatch-obsessed girlfriends. The actor has opined on just how good Sherlock Holmes would be in bed. The answer of course is elementary: very good indeed. An Elle UK interviewer suggested that Holmes would be a “terrible shag.” Her reasoning, based on Holmes’ general lack of interest in sex, is actually quite reasonable: “I think he would be proficient, of course, but he would lack enthusiasm and he would find it distasteful.” But Cumberbatch disagreed, and pointed to the detective’s violin skills. “I’d know exactly how to please a woman, I’d know exactly where to put my fingers, where to put my tongue, where to put my — his I should say — his fingers, his tongue. Think about violinists, think about what they can do with their fingers.” He also thinks Sherlock would watch porn, thoroughly test any and all condoms, and take a lot of vitamins. “I’d probably test the latex, if it involved prophylactics, beforehand. I’d do a little experiment to do with durability, length, girth, and um, strength. And um, I would probably take a lot of vitamin supplements to make sure that I could perform, and had had my sleep, and probably not had many cigarettes. Or drink, for that matter. Not that he does drink.”
And this is the bit you need to make sure your girlfriend doesn’t need to think about. “And I’d know exactly how to get that person into it, and get pleasure out of making that person feel pleasure to the point that I probably wouldn’t even have to enter. But when I did it would be explosive.” Interestingly, the actor doesn’t mention if Holmes has any fetishes, which is odd when you consider his obsession with Irene Adler, who is something of a dominatrix. Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are set to reprise the roles of Holmes and John Watson in a long-awaited fourth season. Fans of Cumberbatch’s silky voice, meanwhile, can enjoy this promotion for BBC drama.