There is no word about the level of Chris Martin’s consciousness during his recent uncoupling with erstwhile wife Gwyneth Paltrow, though it is believed that Martin goes to one of those sedation dentists even for a cleaning–so we’ll let you speculate. Indications are that Ms. Paltrow, whose website and demonstrated ability to reason in public are both officially registered as GOOP, decided alone on this unusual methodology for the break-up. Ms. Paltrow apparently believes that most people who uncouple somehow resist consciousness of the fact–returning home day after day and calling out to their departed spouses while remaining blissfully unaware of an echoing absence. Ms. Paltrow also professes, accordingly, that she and her husband, from whom she is separating, are in many ways “closer than we have ever been.” While her understanding–or misunderstanding–of the word separation disconcertingly resembles the disconnect usually reported in stalkers, Ms. Paltrow seems certain to increase her knowledge of its meaning as time goes on: the uncoupling, she writes, has been in process for a year now. She may also not understand the word consciousness, but who does?
Is conscious uncoupling anything like coitus interruptus? Because the latter takes some consciousness–and just at the moment when consciousness is nearly impossible to come by, too. (So to speak.) There is one clear difference among the manifold similarities (the ending, the cutting short): after coitus interruptus there is a mess to clean up. Not so with conscious uncoupling–it’s clean, very nearly antiseptic. There’s no shuddering, only poise. It’s like an Apple interface. The laws in California, however, for conscious uncoupling are a bit less pristine and dreamy. In fact they are nearly word-for-word replicas of the laws governing divorce.