Turn to page 14. You have been eaten by a grue. Turn to page 38. No direction home. Turn to page 98. You are an international spy of leisure, about to embark on a new adventure. You wake up. Before you in the anonymous hotel room is a bomb. Try to defuse the bomb? If so, then turn to page 5. The bomb has exploded. Turn to page 76. GO NORTH. YOU CANNOT GO THAT WAY. GO NORTHWEST. YOU CANNOT GO THAT WAY. GO EAST. There is a rusty chest here which no key will turn. Would you like to try using the blue sword to open the chest? The sword breaks. GO SOUTH. Turn to page 19.
You are a young writer about to embark on a career, would you like to continue? Turn to page 122. You have died. Turn to page 51. You are now an alcoholic with low self-esteem, would you like to continue? Turn to page 59. YOU HAVE DIED OF DYSENTERY. GO SOUTHEAST. YOU CANNOT GO THAT WAY. Turn to page 94. A shadowy ninja tosses his shuriken into the cleft of your back, and you topple to the ground. Turn to page 18. You are an international race car driver at the exact moment that the world loses interest in international race car driving. Turn to page 36. You are in a muddy bog which seems to extend in all directions. There is a dragon here. GO WEST. YOU CANNOT GO WEST. Turn to page 96. You are the dragon, the dragon is you. The bog is you, you are the bog. Turn to page 101. Like a complete unknown. With no direction home, like a complete unknown. You have died of dysentery again, and are likely to be eaten by a grue. Would you like to proceed? Would you like to proceed? Would you like to proceed? //Oliver Miller
–a version of this story originally appeared at Thought Catalog